Topics—Problems
Making Meetings More Open
What to do when people look to the boss before speaking.
There is always room somewhere in any decision for those affected to participate. Participation means better decisions, plus, by building buy-in, you assure commitment and follow-through. Everybody wins when management fosters open communications. However in many organizations people don't speak up, they don't participate. Then everyone loses.
Your culture says how open or closed people are in meetings. One driving force that stifles open communication is a tough, competitive internal environment. Criticism, instead of support, also brings closed, defensive behavior below. When a meeting leader is closed, it pains everyone.
TWO ACTIONS YOU CAN TAKE
1. Approach the Situation Indirectly
In the meeting, as a non-leader, you could ask, "If it's OK with you (look at leader), I'd like to hear how everyone here sees the issue?" You might prime an ally to say, "I think that's a good idea. I'd like to start with . . . . .:" In a meeting you can ask questions from any step of the decision process (see Making Better Decisions) at any time, e.g. "What are some of the possibilities?" "What's important for us to keep in mind when deciding what to do?" "Who is going to do what?" You don't have to be the formal leader to manage the process of a meeting.
2. Approach the Manager Directly
If you have a good working relationship with the meeting’s leader or manager, you might talk. You could you invite him or her to lunch, or arrange some other comfortable private one-on-one time and ask, "Do you notice that in meetings people often look to you before speaking out?" Depending on his or her response you might ask, "I was wondering how that is for you?" It might be that she likes it that way, or doesn't notice, or doesn't see it as a problem, or has noticed it but doesn't know what to do.
Again, depending on how the conversation is going, you might say how you feel about it. "When everyone looks to you that way, I feel I can't say what I'm really thinking. I have talked with others in that meeting and know that some of them feel similar."
If the manager gets defensive, back off a little. On the other hand if the conversation is going well, you might make a tentative suggestion such as, "What could we do to help people speak out?" There are many things both, or either of you, could do. By far, the best is to use an open-structured decision process such as the four-step process mentioned above.
It might seem strange to discuss this with someone several levels above you, but you might be surprised at the positive response you will probably receive. Most managers are hungry for informal constructive feedback.
The Culprit: Fearing a Loss of Control
Keep in mind that a manager may choose to not use an open decision process because he fears he will lose control. This fear is rarely conscious. I always reassure managers by saying that they can define the discussion's boundaries (time, cost, etc.) at the start, and later on add anything they might have missed.
Although many managers are not used to setting boundaries and then opening the decision to those affected, once they try it, they usually find it both challenging and rewarding. If the manager has made up her mind what she wants done, then suggest that she open up the discussion with, “How to implement the decision”.